John & Cindy McKinney
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McKinney International

Coffee Time with the McKinneys

3/2/2020

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PictureCoffee at a favorite spot. St. Honores. We have 2 Americanos hot. Cindy has with milk.Then a cinnamon roll to share.
Come join me for a cup of coffee (or whatever your preference) and let's have a heart to heart chat...

As of December 31, 2019, we have been engaged in this Expat Life for 6 years. We are now in our 7th year of living overseas in a country that is not our own and becoming friends with people who are not from our own home country--- Expat Life.

So we have been in this life long enough to have some experiences and challenges we have overcome AND short enough to still remember what those beginning days felt like!


In this blog I would like to share some things with you. It may help you understand us and other expat friends you may have. It may help you prepare yourself if you are thinking of joining Expat Life in the near future. It may help you know that you are not alone if you are already in this Expat Life and need some encouragement.
  1.  Preparation time is never wasted AND know you can't prepare for (or control) everything. Prepare like everything depends on your preparation. Move out in this change like you have your trust in something FAR greater than yourself. Stay open and flexible. Something will pop up that you never knew to have on your radar.
  2. Give yourself time and space for the change. Know that change takes more energy than you realize. Change touches places in you that you don't realize until you are in the middle of it.You will adjust, just give yourself time. A bad day, a bad week, a bad month...doesn't mean you can't do this. It's an opportunity to GROW!
  3. This isn't "Kansas" anymore. Stop comparing where you are to where you were. The culture, the language, the way of thinking and coping, etc...they will be different. Accept it. Now, you can do things to make your home (apartment, room, etc.) your little oasis of "home". Play your music. Have your nick-knacks from home. Cook and eat the food you enjoy. Make it comfortable.
  4. People are people. Yes, there are differences. And at the same time, at the core needs, we are all the same. We need basic things for survival. We need to be loved. We need to know we belong. We have desires, vision, dreams. We have families. In the middle of differences, there are so many things alike!
  5. Understand the purpose and vision of this change. Keep it fresh in your sight. Answer the "Why" to this change. That will hold you when the struggles come and you feel like giving up. Know the friends or friend you can turn to for help to remember also. There should be at least one person in your corner that can be your cheerleader and/or coach when you get knocked down.
  6. Don't cut the ties but loosen the strings some. Yes, there will be "good-byes" and "see you later" moments in this change. AND there needs to be those anchors set that keep some relationships close even over the miles. Today that is so much easier with all the technology. But you still need to be purposeful with this step. I have a friend that we talk about one time every week for support (both ways). And there are other family members and friends I am in contact with regularly. Yes, it takes time and coordination with the time zones. Sometimes you may feel like you are making all the concessions for these contacts to happen. BUT the benefit of this consistent connection far outweighs any efforts or perceived sacrifices. Isolation is a huge issue for expats!
  7. Be creative. Have courage. Be kind. Three simple thoughts and at the same time HUGE as you carry these out. I like a quote by Emerson, "Every wall is a door". Be creative to find the door when you see a wall. Have courage to open that door and find your way through the situation. Remember kindness as you deal with the differences and frustrations of this Expat Life.
  8. Know your tools and keep them available to grab. I have many tools for all parts of me (Spirit, Soul and Body). Tools that help adjust and protect my attitude are the biggest helpers! Keeping the right attitude helps you through so many circumstances. My tools? Here are a few: 1.) A VPN so I can have freedom and security to access websites I need and desire to have access to. 2.) Photos of family that I place in my home. 3.) Nick-Knacks that I have had in my USA home for years. 4.) Books, journals, cards with inspirational thoughts  5.) A favorite coffee mug. 6.) Favorite spices and foods that I can pack easily.

Hopefully these thoughts give you a little peek into Expat Life, at least for us. We always tell our USA friends how much we appreciate their support AND we do!!! We have friends that support us in many ways and believe in this vision we have. We couldn't do this without them! It was never intended for us to live this life alone! WE NEED EACH OTHER!

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Finish the Race

2/2/2019

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Picture
A thinking moment on one of my bus rides in Hanoi.
Picture
A reward moment. Don't quit and you will enjoy many reward moments along the way.
Picture
Words of encouragement for me.
As I thought of this month's Blog, I thought I would share some words that have been resonating within me recently. Actually a story...

Several weeks back I was listening to an encouraging talk on not quitting. Getting a "stick with it" type of attitude even in rough patches of life. In the talk, a story was shared that I had heard before BUT this time it just stuck with me. The story was about a runner in a race. It was something like the Olympics (not quite sure the exact type of race). The guy had traveled to a country that was not his own to compete in a long distance race. Hours after all the runners (but this guy) had crossed the finish line, this runner comes into the arena and crosses the finish line. He is clearly hurt and limping as he finishes his race. When he was asked why he had not quit like others had who were hurt, he simply stated, "My country sent me here to finish a race, not start a race."

Wow! It's not about 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc place...it's about having the gumption-the grit-to FINISH when everything (and everybody) says go ahead and quit!

I reflected on myself. When I figuratively fall down and scrape my knee; when I get slapped across the face with words of others; when I stumble on a stump of self-doubt and stub my toe--OUCH!!; when my heart sinks as I realize I just ran in the wrong direction for the last 20 minutes (or 20 years--oops!); when my breath gets knocked out of me as I trip on my own failures and fall flat on my face. What is my reaction...QUIT!!
IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

Oh BUT it IS worth it! I realize the FINISH of the race is more important than the START of the race. Everyone starts the race but not everyone will finish the race. The prize and the satisfaction is in the finish. Getting back up and moving forward...staying in the race until the race is done...until the Finish Line is crossed.

So I have started saying...I AM A FINISHER!
How about you? What do you say?
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Merry Christmas!

12/1/2018

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PictureDecorating for Christmas. Click the picture to link to one of my favorite Christmas music you-tubes this season.
The season of celebration is here again!
We just finished the Thanksgiving holiday and now we are winding up for the Christmas festivities! Holiday traditions abound at this time!! And I join in with the holiday activities...at least what I hold dear to my heart.

I live in a world now that does not celebrate the holidays like I have experienced for so many years of my life. I think being in an environment where I am less    saturated with all the traditions of the holidays, I have come face to face with the question, "Why do I do this anyway?" Being in the flow of a river where you flow with the current causes your journey to be effortless and even automatic. Living in America during this holiday season is like being in a huge river with a strong current carrying you through the season with many, "it's suppose to be", "it's just what we do", and so many other automatic and traditional thoughts.

So what is all of the hype of the season about? I would like to share some of my reflections with you as I have grappled with this since living abroad.

First let me share...
Where I have lived, these cultures also have their festivities and celebrations that are focused around their beliefs and cultural/religious traditions.These celebrations connect generations. They pass on beliefs and traditions from generation to generation. They are part of the fabric or substance of a society and an individual's life. These celebrations become a touch point for a family to gather together over the year or at least to send well wishes to each other and friends. So in light of these reflections, I have continued to celebrate the holidays that are dear to my heart, namely, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, the WAY this happens has changed. Some things are the same but many things change to fit where I am now. But keeping the footprint of these celebrations in my life and family are of great importance to me.

If you find yourself grappling with the question,"Why do I do this anyway?", here are some of my reasons. Maybe you will find a light of understanding for yourself as you read these. And at this time of year let me say to you...
Merry Christmas!
(Click Read More for Cindy's Holiday List)


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    Cindy writes about her adventures, observations, and other nuggets from living in another nation. She and John live in SE Asia. She will also share nuggets from her 58 plus years of life.

    New blogs are normally posted once a month.

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