Fickle Pickle…what a great little eatery in the USA close to Atlanta, Georgia. We met some longtime friends there three years ago for lunch as we were driving through Georgia. It was a great lunch and visit down memory lane.

There is another kind of fickle and that’s Fickle Memory. Living this expat life, I have faced this fickle and must guard against it.

So, what’s a Fickle Memory? A memory that triggers the emotion of dissatisfaction. It begins with a longing; turns into “I wish I was…” or “I wish I wasn’t…”; and then plummets to dissatisfaction spiraling to the pit of despair. This Fickle Memory robs us of the JOY of the present. It blinds us to the new thing in our life. When we embrace a Fickle Memory, we become engulfed with what use to be and what we don’t have now.

In my current life as an expat, I have found that I could have many Fickle Memory moments. Memories can pop up at unexpected times. I have also realized there are some calculated times that these memories occur. When? Holidays is a big one. Birthdays is another. Season changes like the coming of Fall in the USA. The Fall was filled with many activities and sentimental events that I enjoyed in the USA including the colors, smells, foods, hikes, fires, etc.  I have found that I cannot linger in these memories very long. I want to enjoy the memories AND avoid them becoming FICKLE. So, what do I do?.....

1. I become AWARE of the downward tilt of
my emotions and STOP the memory.
2. I REFOCUS on the PRESENT. I think on
the GOOD things in my life now, and the
HOPE that is in my future.
3. I ENGAGE in current activities that bring
JOY to me.
4. I CHOOSE JOY and CONTENTMENT.
5. I REMEMBER and rehearse my
PURPOSE for expat living.
6. I BUILD NEW routines and create
new memories.
7. I remember and honor the past.
Then I LET IT GO.
I move from being the caterpillar to
the emerging butterfly.
 
My wish for you is that your memories bring satisfaction (not the fickle dissatisfaction) as well as encouragement to embrace the new things that are in your present and in your future.

Enjoy the changing seasons of Life!

As the holiday season is coming to it's close with Christmas behind and New Year's not far away, the thoughts of home have been more in our minds.  Being overseas at these times does make the heart yearn for "home" and the traditions of the season.  This season we have experienced some wonderful gifts from "home" that have brought such a joy to our hearts!  We are so thankful for all who made these special gifts to us possible.  As I am journaling this blog I remember the phrase, "keep the home fires burning".  We truly have some incredible people in our lives who created an amazing home fire this year and the warmth was felt over these miles!  (Here is a link to the World War 1 song: Keep the Home Fires Burning)
Here are a few photos to share the beauty of our season!  And never underestimate the power of a "Merry Christmas" or a "Happy New Year" to someone.  Being remembered is an amazing gift that you can give someone this season and in the days ahead!

Connecting and Learning are important pieces to the next part of this journey for us.  Connecting with the international community here.  Connecting with the natives of this country.  And then learning.  Learning the language, the culture, and how to live life on a new dimension.  Learning how to receive wisdom and help from others AND learning that we have an important supply to give to others also.
So some Lessons Learned:

1. Make friends by finding the common ground you have.  Learn to look past the differences and focus on the common things that connect you together.
2. Not knowing the language can be a barrier AND it doesn't have to stop you!  There are ways to bust through the barrier!  Pictures, the internet, hand motions, smiles...all these can be helpful!
3. Take time to rejuvenate.  All the changes and the efforts of adjustment take energy...emotionally and physically.  Learn to recognize the need for added rest and down time.
4. Find familiar.  Looking for people who speak your same language and share some of the same culture (like Western culture when you are in the East).  Starbucks is one of our "go to" places to meet this need.
5. Learn your adventure scale.  Some people have a high tolerance or desire for adventure while others are lower.  Learning what excites me vs what stresses me is really important.  When I think of a relaxation time...it is NOT throwing myself into yet another unfamiliar adventure.
6. Love, kindness, truth, laughter, respect...all people have a desire and need for these qualities to be expressed to them.  And at the same time, learn to not expect it back.  Not everyone knows how to give it.
7. Forgiveness is a gift.  To forgive yourself for mistakes you WILL make and to forgive others for mistakes (or at least perceived mistakes) that they WILL make.
8. Have a buddy (or buddies) in the journey.  John & I have each other plus other friends that understand us and care about us. We have also learned to make ourselves available to other internationals in our same spot.  A sounding board and a hand of support is so vital for us in this journey!