Category: Expat Living

WELCOME…

6/1/2021

When you hear that word, what responses do you have? Stop...and ponder this. Stop. And have an awareness of what this simple word prompts in you.

Let’s stop and consider the meaning of welcome.

Looking to Merriam-Webster, we come to understand these meanings:

Received gladly into one’s presence or companionship.
Giving pleasure; Received with gladness or delight (especially in response to a need).
Willingly permitted or admitted.

Here are a few synonyms: Embrace, Receive, Accept.

When you are greeted with “Welcome” are some of these the responses you find rising up in you? The feeling of being accepted, embraced, received with gladness or delight?

Living in a nation that is not your own accentuates the inner need for feeling this “Welcome.” You are away from family and things that are familiar. Rejection, or just feeling on the outside of things, can be so easy to experience. You are an “outsider” to the culture and customs. You are the “outsider” to the language (even if you know it well, it’s not your mother tongue). You are the “outsider” to the history. You can’t depend on your “natural” responses to be the correct responses because this nation is not your norm. Their culture is not your norm. In this situation, there is a need to learn to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable.

So when there is this sense of WELCOME, that can be HUGE in the life of an expat.

Why are you welcome? I have found it is not so much because there is absolute agreement on things or that you do everything right within the cultural context. No, the WELCOME comes as a gesture of kindness. It comes with compassion. It comes in spite of the differences and challenges. It comes because we are human, and each life is valued and honored. It comes because we each need community. We need love and acceptance.

And then, when this WELCOME has been given to us. We need to stop and be aware of the valuable gift that has been given to us. We have been gladly received into someone’s presence, home, or group. We have not only been permitted and admitted, we have been willingly embraced by another. Cherish the gift that has been given to you…then give it forward to another.

WELCOME.

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Coffee Time with the McKinneys

3/2/2020

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Coffee at a favorite spot. St. Honores. We have 2 Americanos hot. Cindy has with milk.Then a cinnamon roll to share.

Come join me for a cup of coffee (or whatever your preference) and let's have a heart to heart chat...

As of December 31, 2019, we have been engaged in this Expat Life for 6 years. We are now in our 7th year of living overseas in a country that is not our own and becoming friends with people who are not from our own home country--- Expat Life.

So we have been in this life long enough to have some experiences and challenges we have overcome AND short enough to still remember what those beginning days felt like!

In this blog I would like to share some things with you. It may help you understand us and other expat friends you may have. It may help you prepare yourself if you are thinking of joining Expat Life in the near future. It may help you know that you are not alone if you are already in this Expat Life and need some encouragement.

Preparation time is never wasted AND know you can't prepare for (or control) everything. Prepare like everything depends on your preparation. Move out in this change like you have your trust in something FAR greater than yourself. Stay open and flexible. Something will pop up that you never knew to have on your radar.
Give yourself time and space for the change. Know that change takes more energy than you realize. Change touches places in you that you don't realize until you are in the middle of it.You will adjust, just give yourself time. A bad day, a bad week, a bad month...doesn't mean you can't do this. It's an opportunity to GROW!
This isn't "Kansas" anymore. Stop comparing where you are to where you were. The culture, the language, the way of thinking and coping, etc...they will be different. Accept it. Now, you can do things to make your home (apartment, room, etc.) your little oasis of "home". Play your music. Have your nick-knacks from home. Cook and eat the food you enjoy. Make it comfortable.
People are people. Yes, there are differences. And at the same time, at the core needs, we are all the same. We need basic things for survival. We need to be loved. We need to know we belong. We have desires, vision, dreams. We have families. In the middle of differences, there are so many things alike!
Understand the purpose and vision of this change. Keep it fresh in your sight. Answer the "Why" to this change. That will hold you when the struggles come and you feel like giving up. Know the friends or friend you can turn to for help to remember also. There should be at least one person in your corner that can be your cheerleader and/or coach when you get knocked down.
Don't cut the ties but loosen the strings some. Yes, there will be "good-byes" and "see you later" moments in this change. AND there needs to be those anchors set that keep some relationships close even over the miles. Today that is so much easier with all the technology. But you still need to be purposeful with this step. I have a friend that we talk about one time every week for support (both ways). And there are other family members and friends I am in contact with regularly. Yes, it takes time and coordination with the time zones. Sometimes you may feel like you are making all the concessions for these contacts to happen. BUT the benefit of this consistent connection far outweighs any efforts or perceived sacrifices. Isolation is a huge issue for expats!
Be creative. Have courage. Be kind. Three simple thoughts and at the same time HUGE as you carry these out. I like a quote by Emerson, "Every wall is a door". Be creative to find the door when you see a wall. Have courage to open that door and find your way through the situation. Remember kindness as you deal with the differences and frustrations of this Expat Life.
Know your tools and keep them available to grab. I have many tools for all parts of me (Spirit, Soul and Body). Tools that help adjust and protect my attitude are the biggest helpers! Keeping the right attitude helps you through so many circumstances. My tools? Here are a few: 1.) A VPN so I can have freedom and security to access websites I need and desire to have access to. 2.) Photos of family that I place in my home. 3.) Nick-Knacks that I have had in my USA home for years. 4.) Books, journals, cards with inspirational thoughts 5.) A favorite coffee mug. 6.) Favorite spices and foods that I can pack easily.

Hopefully these thoughts give you a little peek into Expat Life, at least for us. We always tell our USA friends how much we appreciate their support AND we do!!! We have friends that support us in many ways and believe in this vision we have. We couldn't do this without them! It was never intended for us to live this life alone! WE NEED EACH OTHER!

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Finish the Race

2/2/2019

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A thinking moment on one of my bus rides in Hanoi.

A reward moment. Don't quit and you will enjoy many reward moments along the way.

Words of encouragement for me.

As I thought of this month's Blog, I thought I would share some words that have been resonating within me recently. Actually a story...

Several weeks back I was listening to an encouraging talk on not quitting. Getting a "stick with it" type of attitude even in rough patches of life. In the talk, a story was shared that I had heard before BUT this time it just stuck with me. The story was about a runner in a race. It was something like the Olympics (not quite sure the exact type of race). The guy had traveled to a country that was not his own to compete in a long distance race. Hours after all the runners (but this guy) had crossed the finish line, this runner comes into the arena and crosses the finish line. He is clearly hurt and limping as he finishes his race. When he was asked why he had not quit like others had who were hurt, he simply stated, "My country sent me here to finish a race, not start a race."

Wow! It's not about 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc place...it's about having the gumption-the grit-to FINISH when everything (and everybody) says go ahead and quit!

I reflected on myself. When I figuratively fall down and scrape my knee; when I get slapped across the face with words of others; when I stumble on a stump of self-doubt and stub my toe--OUCH!!; when my heart sinks as I realize I just ran in the wrong direction for the last 20 minutes (or 20 years--oops!); when my breath gets knocked out of me as I trip on my own failures and fall flat on my face. What is my reaction...QUIT!!
IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

Oh BUT it IS worth it! I realize the FINISH of the race is more important than the START of the race. Everyone starts the race but not everyone will finish the race. The prize and the satisfaction is in the finish. Getting back up and moving forward...staying in the race until the race is done...until the Finish Line is crossed.

So I have started saying...I AM A FINISHER!
How about you? What do you say?

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Cindy writes about her adventures, observations, and other nuggets from living in another nation. She and John live in SE Asia. She will also share nuggets from her 58 plus years of life.

New blogs are normally posted once a month.

McKinney International

WELCOME…

Coffee Time with the McKinneys

Finish the Race

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